约会还是约饭

Foodie Calls

对于约会,不同的人有不同的期待。有的希望找到灵魂伴侣,有的需要陪伴,还有的想要度过一段美好时光,并认为通过买单就能实现。而一项新的研究表明,一些女性经常说,她们约会的目的只是去免费搓一顿去头小龙虾。这项研究发表在社会心理学和人格科学杂志上。

你可能会好奇,我们是怎么产生这么一个想法的。加州阿苏萨太平洋大学的社会心理学家布莱恩说,他一直都很好奇,如何通过恋爱关系科学地解释这一点。于是,来自同一所大学的合作研究者哈里格告诉他一种有趣的新现象。马克西姆杂志将这种现象戏称为约饭。我们很好奇,想知道女性约男性只为吃饭而不谈恋爱的频率究竟有多高。

在这项研究中,研究人员重点关注异性恋女性。其中部分原因在于,因为长期以来形成的约会文化,人们往往期待男性买单,尤其是初次约会。在一项网络调查中,研究人员询问了一千多名女性,如果不以谈恋爱为目的,你是否只因蹭饭而答应和男性约会。

我们发现,大约百分之二十三到三十三的女性曾经参与不以谈恋爱为目的的约饭。承认约饭的女性,虽然大部分都声称只是偶尔吃吃或很少为之,但是有四分之一承认自己经常赴约吃饭。在受试者当中,最有可能参与这种约饭行为的是那些支持传统看法、认为应该男性买单,以及在黑暗三联征人格测试中得分更高的女性。

所谓的黑暗三联征是指:第一,一种亚临床水平的心理变态,表现为缺乏悔意,同情心以及换位思考能力;第二,马基雅维利主义,或者叫权术主义,也就是为了一己私利,蓄意摆布他人。第三,自我陶醉,有着浮夸过分的自恋倾向。下次约会,对照以上三点好好检查一下,兴许就能看出约会对象是对你有意思,还是对你的饭有意思。

原文

When it comes to the ritual act of dating, participants often have very different expectations. Some hope to meet their soul mate. Others seek companionship. Some are looking for a good time and think that springing for a meal entitles them to one. And now a new study finds that some women say that, now and again, they just want to score some lobster tails. The finding is in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.

“You’re probably wondering how we came up with this idea.” Brian Collisson, a social psychologist at Azusa Pacific University in California. Collisson says he’s always been intrigued, in a scientific sense, by romantic relationships. So when one of his co-authors—Trista Harig, also at Azusa Pacific—told him about this interesting new phenomenon that Maxim magazine had nicknamed a “foodie call”: “We were curious to explore how often women date men for food rather than a relationship.”

In this study, the researchers focused on heterosexual women—in part because, based on longstanding cultural expectations, men often pick up the tab, particularly on a first date. In a pair of online surveys, the researchers asked more than 1,000 women: Have you ever agreed to date someone you were not interested in a relationship with because he might pay for your meal?

“We found that approximately 23 to 33 percent of women surveyed had engaged in a ‘foodie call.’” Of those who admitted to having swiped right for the free eats, the majority claimed to have done so only occasionally or rarely. But about a quarter admitted accepting the restaurant outing with greater frequency. The respondents most likely to engage in this type of dating-for-dinner behavior were those who endorsed traditional gender-role beliefs and who scored high on a personality test designed to detect what’s called the Dark Triad.

“The dark triad refers to subclinical levels of psychopathy—which is a lack of remorse and empathy and perspective taking—Machiavellianism—which is where you purposely manipulate others for your own self-benefit—and narcissism, which is a grandiose and over-the-top self-love.” With that as a checklist, it might be possible to avoid the users who are in it for pasta—rather than possibilities.

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